10:28 PM

Sometimes, you just got to smile...

Posted by L. |

I am trying to take a deep breath.. Things just keep getting complicated on my end.. Not only the work situation SUCKS, my family is back into their "let's create a situation to stress Lily out", I have a boy on the other end of the world that I want here right now, the economy is ALMOST sinking us, and I really, really wished I was chilling in the ocean... Now one of my friends is upset at me..

See, I've been TRYING to change my habits... After all, I am an adult now.. and it has been hard... today I was talking to my cousin about our family, and God, are they fucked up or what?? I mean, I LOVE THEM, so so much.. but they have a special talent for loving you and screwing you up equally.. and me.. I've made it my goal before I have a family of my own (mom don't get excited, not in the next 4-10 years) to learn from their mistakes, and cultivate their strengths.. so here I am.. working on myself, on my issues, on my way of seeing the world.. and like a hot greek once told me, "sometimes, when we change, the people around us are indirectly forced to think about themselves and how they act" and if they are not on the same growth path as you, they usually don't like it...

so it is time to move on.. to being a bit more focused on my needs as opposed to everyone else's.. to being, in a way a bit selfish about how I spend my time, thoughts, energy.. After all, since I can't control the world, the only thing I can control is how I react to situations.. And after all, I have a GREAT life..So here it goes.. new beginnings, cherishing my life more, being more grateful, trying to come to terms with how I grew up, and how it defines who I am.. and I know I am in the right path, because every morning, when I wake up in my beach house, and have my coffee, and walk my dog.. I am so grateful for this life, I am so ready to take on the day, I am so eager to make EVERY experience a learning one..